3 Months Later…

It is unbelievable to think that it’s been over 3 months since I arrived home after the year of a lifetime. As I sit here on my couch, anticipating a full day of homework and school tomorrow, I think to myself, why did I ever want to leave Italy? Can you believe that I’m saying that?

I had a very tumultuous relationship with Italy and my time in Rome definitely wasn’t perfect. But my life in Vancouver isn’t too peachy either. I’m lost here and I don’t know where to go. People keep on asking me what I plan to do in the future, what I’m studying, where I’m going next. The answer is: I don’t know! I think in Rome I had more direction then I do here. At least I had a job, new friends, and a pretty exciting life that continued to get better as time passed. I have so many memories that I wish I could relive over and over but I can’t. The truth is that now I’m home and I need to move on. I can’t keep on living in the past. The past isn’t now – the present is now and I need to be living in it!

The last few days in Morocco I remember to be a whirlwind. We enjoyed our time in Goreme by exploring underground cities, climbing into deep valleys, eating delicious food, and appreciating the amazing cave art around some steep cliffs. Travelling on to Istanbul was our final stop and even though we didn’t want to return home afterwards it kind of seemed time to move on.

Istanbul

Istanbul

We stayed in a very centrally located area of Istanbul and were able to walk everywhere. It was Ramadan so it was interesting to experience the fasting of the people around us. Everyone would gather in parks and public areas ready to break their fast together at the sound of the imam chanting. We visited Topkapi Palace, the Hagia Sophia, the Blue Mosque and so many more beautiful places. The bazaar wasn’t exactly what I expected but it was still amazing to see. We traveled to the European and Asian sides of Istanbul. We swam in the ocean. The weather was beautiful and hot but it made the last few days abroad perfect.

Ending in Istanbul was the perfect way to end my year in Europe. And then a 14 hour plane ride later and we were home. It’s amazing how fast these things can come to an end. One minuted you’re in Istanbul and the next you’re laying in your bed wondering if it was all a dream. Sometimes I think it was.

I’ve come home now and people don’t quite understand everything that’s happened to me while I was away. I’ve done a lot of changing, inside and out. I don’t blame my friends at home…for them the year went by as normal and I was just gone. Life went on for them and for me. It’s just that this past year is something I’ll never be able to express and it’s something I’ll need to remember – I willย always remember!

So those are my thoughts tonight. I’m feeling ย emotional, nostalgic, and I am the head of the ‘Natasha Pitty Party’ committee at the moment which sounds pretty pathetic. But it’s the truth. And what I need to do is to admit the truth and then get over it. I need to be thankful for what I had and move on. Life can get better, even in my not-so-exciting home. Hopefully.

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7 thoughts on “3 Months Later…

  1. Hey Natasha, Mike Willems here. I say have your pity party! Everybody who has ever travelled has experienced that dream-like state you described when they come back home (I like the way you talked about quickly it all comes to an end). When I came back from Spain and doing the Camino I could never articulate to family and friends how much that experienced changed my life. After trying to appease the futile question, “How was your trip?” you’re stuck with what feels like a lifetime of stories that most people aren’t really interested in hearing. So I get it. And I say you’re perfectly justified in feeling what you’re feeling. Yes, you have to eventually move on, and yes, you can and will find excitement in your “not-so-exciting” home, but remember that your year of travel is part of you and you’re allowed to feel nostalgic about it. Don’t dismiss those emotions; they are legitimate and necessary. (They only become an issue if they’re actually preventing you from going out and having adventures where you are now.) So basically: pity away– I say you’re justified.

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  2. Oh Tash, Love your heart and thoughts. Proud of you for seeing this and I will be right behind you in this same journey of transitioning, adjusting, accepting and just figuring out where I am going. I am so thankful to have shared so many wonderful memories with you and we will always have those! Lets get excited about the future! So many more wonderful experiences to be had and who knows where the path will lead! Hang in there, and know that its ok to cry and have nostalgia and a pity party sometimes…but then when the morning comes embrace the new day that awaits and look for the beauty all around you right where you are in that moment too! You don’t want to miss a thing. Thinking of you always.. xoxo
    Bekah

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  3. These feelings you have are normal. I know so many people who tend to idealize the place they are not. I often do it myself! You are right; the only way to get over it is to acknowledge it, and get on with life. One day you will have a clear path again. In the meantime, I pray for contentment where you are.

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  4. I know exactly what you mean. I missed Europe so much after my time in England, so you know what I did? I found a job in Spain, and went back. Then I found a job in Poland, and went back again. Now I’m living in France and applying to Masters programmes here…I couldn’t really settle back into American culture after spending so much time abroad. I love my friends back home, but I’ve certainly learned who my true friends are and who they aren’t. For them, of course, life went by as normal–they graduated, moved out, started their new jobs. Travelling has brought me closer to some friends will farther away from others. I’ve found that it’s those who have done some travelling of their own who are still my close friends! I hope you find what you’re looking for back home, but if you don’t…you can always come back ๐Ÿ™‚

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    • Thanks, that’s what I want to do! I just need to finish my degree…or at least figure out what I want to do/be to support myself while I’m away!

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      • I went home and finished my degree as fast as I could (I graduated a semester early…) and here I am. I hope the “dream state” never truly ends. I mean, I know that one day, I’ll have to grow up and find an adult job that has some manner of stability, but I still hope to find that job on this side of the ocean because I sort of feel more at home on my adopted continent than my country of origin! Especially after my parents moved away and my friends are scattered throughout the globe. I say, if you want to come back, you’ll find a way! Bonne chance!

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