I went for a walk recently and pondered my relationship with God. It’s not perfect – it hasn’t ever been perfect and it never will but there are definitely some places where I could improve. I have been so emotional lately and even writing this makes me choke up a bit. I think I have realized how important God is to me. I miss Him – I MISS Him. I’ve never felt this so strongly before and my emotions are on overdrive trying to find Him in my life. But then I realize that sometimes He isn’t in my life or isn’t as present as He should be because I don’t let Him. I put other things first in my life before Him but I can’t do that – I shouldn’t do that! I have no right to put other things first when He is the one who gave me life and He is the one who loves me unconditionally. I should live for Him always! ALWAYS!
Being away from home makes me realized how much I miss what I always took for granted – church. More specifically though, I miss my home church. I love the worship, the preaching, and just the sense of comfort that I get when I walk into the building on Sunday mornings. My church in Rome is great and I am thankful I found it but it isn’t the same. So spiritually I think that I am missing something.
Last night when I was strolling the streets of Rome I sang Hillsong out loud and just gave it all to God. I prayed that He would guide me. That He would show Himself to me here and that I would seek Him in everything I do.
The thing I have realized though is that because I miss my church and because things aren’t the same, well, God is using this to strengthen me. I was never one to listen to music on my iPod and cry because of how beautiful the words were…but now I do. The things that I miss about my home church make me yearn for it more. And by yearning for it I yearn for God.
God uses everything in life as a way in which we can grow closer to Him. And right now He is taking something I once took for granted and twisting it so that I want to run as fast as possible in to His arms and never let go.