When I look back on life, I very rarely remember the negatives. I’ve been awarded this amazing brain that only focuses on the positives and the good times instead of remembering all the things that would keep me up late at night, crying to my parents from thousands of miles away. Now, 3 years later, I think that becoming an au pair again couldn’t actually be too bad. My co-worker from that job I hated really wasn’t too terrible. Working for Liberty in North Korea wasn’t too tiring.
My friends and family will remind me of the opposite though. Like I said, I spent months crying about certain things, complaining about how terrible life was at that moment in time.
Why am I reflecting on this?
Well, I think the time has finally come for me to own up to this and realize that sometimes complaining and vocalizing my frustrations really isn’t worth it. I remember not too long ago that my mom was listening to me talk about my teammates at LiNK. I was telling her how much I missed them and loved them and she said to me something I’ll never forget. She said “Natasha, I had no clue that you cared for your teammates so much. I didn’t know that were that special to you. I didn’t realize that you liked touring around America”. Reality couldn’t be more opposite. My teammates at LiNK knew how much I loved them and how much they meant to me but I had been so busy focusing on all the negatives of tour that when I talked to my parents, all I told them were my complaints. I didn’t tell them about how my teammates supported me unconditionally. I never told them about the amazing places I saw while touring the USA. Instead all I did was complain.
To think that all I did was focus on the negative really frustrates me. I know that I openly vocalized my frustrations with my friends at LiNK too – not just to my parents. And LiNK isn’t the only example. In Rome this happened. Complaining about past jobs too – it’s kind of the story of my life.
I’m at such a positive place right now and when I look back at the big events in my life, I remember them positively. Because they were positive experiences and that is how they should be remembered. Everything in life has it’s highs and lows. That is what life is – a never-ending roller coaster of emotion! Although my family and friends are here to support me, they don’t have to be my own personal tissue in which I wipe my tears off in to!
When I think of all the good times I’ve had, I want to be able to remember those experiences and share those memories with my friends and family. I’d like to get through one story without hearing my dad say “I thought she hated those Romans” (or something to that extent). I’d like them to realize that my life wasn’t as bad as I was painting it (because really, how bad can life be living in Italy or travelling around American with some of the most amazing people in the world)?
I don’t know where life is going to take me. My social life is great, my living situation is perfect, and I couldn’t be happier with my job! But, you never know what may be thrown your way! With everything said above, I plan to stay on this positive tragectory! Even when difficult times come, I want to stay positive, stay upbeat, and save my complaints for myself. When I look back at my life I want to remember the positives and have others remember those positives as well!
I don’t know why but it haunts me thinking that my friends and family may remember me as a complainer. Although my frustrations in the past have been valid, the lengths in which I went to to have others empathize with me (ie. calling home every single day) is not cool.
Thank goodness this changes today! From now on I plan to share the positives in life. I can do this by casting my complaints aside. To remember the good and to forget the bad! I mean, my life has been pretty cool so far – what’s the point in thinking about the negatives anyway?